The "Wired" Home

I must admit, I am an early adopter. Long before there were cable modems to bring high speed Internet into the home, we had it. You see, [read aloud with old man voice] in my day we didn't have fancy cable, DSL, ADSL, ISDN circuits. We had 33KB dial-up modems and if you wanted any "real" bandwidth you had to bind several of them together. So in 1994, thanks to the most understanding wife on the planet and one really confused Bell South installer, our house had five incoming phone lines connected to five of the best (and most expensive) analog modems money could buy. I then bonded (yes, I am a geek) the five incoming RS232 signals together to get an impressive overall transfer rate of around 128KB (give or take a KB). Who cares if I had an extra car payment called The ISP? I can still remember the first time I experienced the mind blowing rush of 128KB in my own home. There was just something about the sound of all those modems negotiating that really got to me.

Some guys build fast cars or ride dangerous motorcycles or jump out of planes. My thrill has always been bandwidth.

Time passes, things change. Now it's 2006 and anyone can have 3MB (30 times faster than my old solution) of pure bandwidth for the price of a cable connection. Geek Squad will even come in a cute VW and install it for you. [sigh]

So I wonder, what do "normal" people do with it all?

Recently, due to a resent influx of used laptops in our home, my older children (12 and 15 years wise) have both enjoyed an increase in Internet access. Even though it goes against all the advice I give families about home Internet usage, I have allowed (for the first time) untethered Internet access to my rapidly maturing children. I guess I just want to see where (if left unattended) they will wind up. Of course, I have the anti-porn filters in place, but what about all the other junk that fills the void of Internet space. I wondered what would grab their attention first and by what means would they be lead there.

• Would it be a web based French art gallery?
• Would it be the NASA web site that could give them access to the stars?
• Would they discover a new portal to explore the world outside of their home?

No such luck.

Currently in our house (for all users under the age of 40) the #1 visited site is myspace.com

Now they spend hours each day (on a 3GB bandwidth pipe) to see how many Johnny Depp pictures they can post on one myspace page.

I give it a week, two tops.

After that, I'll have to start dropping some subtle hints. I'll have to convince them that there's more out there then pink pastel backgrounds and spinning animated graphics.

I just pray they don't find YouTube.

The Doors...

As a father, I feel it is my duty to introduce my children to quality music. Every day they are assaulted by the local pop music stations with sounds that (to me) are pale copies of originals. As I listen with them in the car, I hear new words but the back beats and guitar riffs are all repeats of songs done long ago. Last week as we are riding down the highway, I hear the first few bars of music and proudly announce, "That's Tainted Love, by Soft Cell." (Of course, I knew that it was a remake of Gloria Jones from 1964, but I didn't think I would lose points for that. Nor did I mention the recently disturbed version by Marilyn Mansion) However, as the song progressed, I heard different words but the same music. My oldest daughter (now at the wise old age of 15) just stared at me blankly and said "Tainted what?" I think I aged 10 years in those few minutes. At that precise moment it hit me. Now I'm the "Old Man" who just doesn't get it.

With that I took matters into my own hands. Luckily I always keep an emergency CD in the glove compartment for unexpected long trips or heavy traffic, so I grabbed it. What followed were the eerie but melodic sounds of the opening measures of "Riders on the Storm" by The Doors. Suddenly, the car was quiet. I waited for a reaction. Two minutes, 30 seconds later, I hear the words that are sweet to any father's ears. "Daddy, who is that?" Now normally that sentence is delivered in "teenager tone" which instantly gives the receiver the feeling of stupidity. However, this time it was actually a question, and not a statement. "That's The Doors sweetheart. And that's Jim Morrison singing." More time passes. Still the car remains quiet. Could it be? Is she really listening and maybe even (dare I say it) enjoying it?

"Into this house were born
Into this world were thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out alone"

Finally, the question comes. The one question that will lift the spirit of any father...
"Daddy, do you have any more of their songs?"

"Yes dear, this one is called Light My Fire..."

My job here is done.

Final Score:
Dad: 1
Local Pop Station: 0